It's hard to believe that Cooper is going on three weeks old. It feels like just yesterday when we brought him home from the hospital. On the other hand, I just looked back through my pregnancy belly pictures, and that all seems so long ago. The days definitely blur together for me, although each day is totally different. Cooper is still too young to be on any sort of schedule, so for the moment I'm just trying to follow his cues and let him eat, sleep, and be awake when he needs to. One day he stayed awake but was fussy almost all morning; the next day he slept most of the day. One day he loved the swing (allowing me to get a shower); the next day he screamed and screamed when I put him in it. No shower for momma that day. There's really no predicting at this point. I'm constantly thinking about the next step, and when I should start making changes to how I handle his day. For example, at the moment he basically will only go to sleep if someone rocks or bounces him. Of course that's fine for now, but eventually I'd like to be able to put him down and have him go to sleep on his own. But when is it appropriate to start attempting that? I want to avoid having to do the whole "cry it out" thing, but am I setting myself up for trouble by starting off this way? And then there's the whole "schedule" issue. I've been reading The Baby Whisperer and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, but I still feel kind of unsure and overwhelmed about when to start trying to get on a regular schedule and the best way to go about it. Susan reminded me that a lot of that is a personal decision, but I don't feel like I have the background (or confidence) to make those decisions. Where is my mommy intuition??
On the physical side of things, Cooper and I are both doing well. Because he had to be delivered so quickly at the end, my body went through a bit of extra trauma and has taken a little longer to heal. But overall I'm feeling pretty good, nothing that some Motrin won't help. As for Cooper, he is gaining weight like a champ. He was 6 lbs 5 oz when we left the hospital and then lost one more ounce before he started gaining weight (it's normal for babies to lose weight after delivery.) But since then he's been gaining steadily, and weighed 7 lbs 4 oz at his checkup on Tuesday. We are constantly amused by his facial expressions and bright, watchful eyes. He makes great eye contact and will stare at us for nice, long periods of time. I can also tell that he likes to look at high contrast items...there's a dark wood frame that hangs on the white wall behind our couch, and he's constantly looking at it. He has great neck strength, more than I was expecting him to have at this point. Of course he can't hold his head up himself, but when he's on his belly he can lift his head and keep it up for several seconds. I think he's quite advanced. :-)
Stewart is the BEST dad. I knew he would be, but it's so amazing to watch it happen. I actually think that he's better at calming Cooper when he's really upset than I am. He does lots of talking, singing, and playing with him. They have little conversations about all sorts of things, unlike me who tends to just coo and make faces and tell him over and over how much I love him. Stewart also has his own little versions of nursery rhymes. The other day I overhead him doing patty-cake, and his version was as follows:
Patty-cake, Patty-cake, baker's man
Bake me a cake as fast as you can.
Roll it up, Roll it up,
Put it in a pan!!
(repeat as many times as desired)
I toyed with the idea of just letting him continue with that version, but in the end I did clue him in to the correct way to sing patty-cake. Even though he's got a lot of work to do for his rotations, Stewart has been doing a great job at making time for us in the evenings. We've gotten into somewhat of a routine at bedtime that seems to be working pretty well for us. I'll feed and change him one last time, and then Stewart will take him and get him to sleep. This allows me to go ahead and get to bed, since of course I'll be up again in a few hours with the little man. I try not to wake Stewart up in the middle of the night, although we've agreed that if I've been up with Cooper for over an hour and can't get him to sleep, I shouldn't hesitate to get him up to help me. It's nice to have that option, although I still feel guilty getting him up when I know he has to go to work all day.
As for how we're doing emotionally, I'm still kind of in awe when I hold Cooper and look into his eyes. I have to remind myself that he was inside me, and that he's ours to take care of forever. I've had a couple overwhelmed moments and definitely shed a few tears every day (hello, postpartum hormones!) People told me over and over my life would change, and I always thought to myself "Well duh, of course it is, and it's what I've always wanted." But it still has been a challenging adjustment, especially when I'm trying to keep from falling asleep while nursing at 3 am, or when he's been crying all morning, or when it's 7pm and I have no clue what we're having for dinner. I find myself looking forward to when he's a little older and more interactive, but have to remind myself to savor these tiny, newborn moments. Somehow it still hasn't all sunk in yet, that I have a son. How amazing...
Since it wouldn't be right to write a post about a newborn without including a picture, here he is taking a little morning snooze in Momma and Daddy's bed.
He definitely sleeps so much better when he's swaddled like this. And I realize that this picture looks like a "what NOT to do" example for the prevention of SIDS, but rest assured that I was right there watching him the whole time.
By the way, there are lots more pictures in the new February photo album!